Dealing with Bullies

Bullies and bullying have been part of the world stage throughout history. There is no human alive who has not experienced being at either side of the bully equation. The anguish suffered by people of all ages, from the young to the elderly, is one of the never-ending tragic consequences of this phenomenon. Each and his/her story.

In my capacity as a coach hardly a week passes by without someone bringing up the bullying issue: Cross-gender behaviour; senior-junior / weak-strong dynamics; power games; abuse of position and authority; the inherent cruelty of mental bullying…

This Fulcrum is written for those seeking for a core location to come out of in dealing with the problem, as well as for those seeking to escape it in themselves. It comes in five parts:

Part one:   The breeding ground
Part two:   The vibes of strengths
Part three: The bully profile
Part four:   The key
Part five:   Cultivating one’s Unique Strength

Part one: The breeding ground
How did bullying come to be in the first place?

To understand the why and the how, we need to shine the spotlight upon the universal rainbow-like energy fields that power the human existence. These energy fields have low and high; coarser and finer aspects. There is a ‘red’ end that runs deep into the physical-robotic aspects of life and a ‘violet’ end that motivates the high and profound aspects.

When we deal into the ‘red’ end, our contemplation revolves around things such as action, results, tangible outcomes, performance, practical skills, power, the carnal aspects, physical strength, doing, combat, demonstration…

When our contemplation veers towards the ‘violet’ end, it brings to mind the considerations of purpose, mission, the fine, deep and profound aspects of living, the arising of world religions in their purity, the intangible aspects of living…

In short, bullying is a result of parts of humanity – and parts of oneself – becoming entrapped in the ‘red’ end to the point of mental possession; where those who fall prey to the nature of powers and energies that occupy the ‘red’ wavelength live the consequence of having become disconnected, by degree, from their human core.

The human core is a magnificent spiritually loaded, ever evolving compound, incorporating qualities and natural abilities that feature deep feelings and special sensitivities. A connected human would not be able to inflict mental punishment upon another – it would be too personally painful to do so. It is only when, for whatever reason, a person becomes removed from one’s human core, that something else is sucked into the gap, as there is no such thing as an energy vacuum. That power ‘virus’ then takes hold of parts of a person’s mentation to cause them to harbour behavioural traits that should have never been granted access to the human domain in the first place.

What then happens is that either shear physical strength, coupled with a foul temper, or the ‘red’ aspects of a person’s mental faculty when occupying a position of power, have their way with the person or a whole nation. To put it simply, it is nothing other than a ‘red’ possession exercising itself in and through human beings.

In the universe, everything eats – the high and the low. Eating and being eaten by the low has ‘red’ natured consequences. Eating and being eaten by the high has ‘violet’ natured consequences.

The history of ‘red’ possession grows and evolves just like anything else in the planet – from Cain and Abel, all the way to your personal experiences.

Part two:  The vibes of strengths
Human beings are blessed with an astounding spectrum of strengths; from the brute physical to the invincible spiritual. Each, with its unique vibes and leverage.

There is a saying in the worlds of combat: It’s not the size of the dog in the fight but the size of the fight in the dog. And the size of the fight in the dog is determined by the nature and quality of spirit present in a person, manifesting in different ways, anchoring different natures of power and intelligence, across the whole spectrum.

‘Red’ power – residing at the lowest end of the scale of human capability – dominates the 21st century. This is now quietly changing. Being at its subtle beginnings, the change is primarily internal, brewing and stirring in individuals and networks across the world. As momentum is built, it will eventually lead to a critical mass event. What is being spoken of here is the radical shift from a ‘red’ accented to eventually, a ‘violet’ accented world.

What would lead to the ‘red demise’? The answer lies in the shift from a masculine to a feminine led world. The future is now entering through the feminine vector, engendering a shift in the balance of power in the masculine / feminine  worlds. Imagine a world led by a new human equation vastly more mindful and respectful of human feelings and the sanctity of human life.

Part three:  The bully profile
Let’s be clear and honest: We all have a little bully living in us. It’s technically impossible to be raised in a ‘red’ accented world without being genetically imprinted by its ways. The question being: What is the ruling majority in an individual. Here, there is as big a variety as there are people on earth. However, we can run a line through humanity, to delineate two groupings: Those whose centre of gravity is not disconnected from their human core and those whose centre of gravity has become disconnected, by degree, from it.

The deeper the disconnection and subsequently, the formation of governing ‘bully habits’, the bigger the problem – for the individual and those being inflicted by a person’s state of disconnect.

The bully profile
Most bullies would share the following fundamental traits, by degree:

  • From an energy quality perspective, they live at the bottom of the food chain, where at some point their body and state of being will have to bear the grim consequences.
  • Low self-awareness: A bully is first and foremost a bully of one’s own self, leading to a state of shut-down of various self-awareness systems and natural sensitivities that are a crucial element of personal growth.
  • As already pointed to, at distance and disconnected from oneself.
  • When in the throes of the ‘red’, they slide in their own personal time line to a nine years old juvenile delinquents level of thinking and behaviour; clothed in a deceptive ‘adult’ display of self-importance.
  • They are inherently weak. When all a person can muster in the life is a hard edge, it is evidence of a person’s inability to access the soft side of life, which may sound ‘weak’ but in truth, hosts the greatest strengths. As an example, being able to genuinely demonstrate the right kind of vulnerability and humbleness is a sign of great inner strength.
  • Bullies can only thrive when they are able to instil in others their prime weapon: Fear. When this single element is neutralised, the bully is no more.

How to cope with the above? Read on…

Part four:  The key
Those who experience bullying know that there are situations where there is no easy way out. As an example, it is a well-known, well documented fact that the most common reason for employees leaving a work-place is a bully manager. And then there are the infinite variety of bully flavours and practices, from the insidiously subtle to ‘in your face’. Amongst the worst and most damaging forms is youngsters bullying each other at schools, which principally is the last thing that should be allowed to happen in establishment concerned with human enlightenment.

The key
The key to dealing with bullying is found in learning to occupy and stay firmly anchored in the high ground of oneself. To not give in to fear and to learn to say ‘no’ by stance and behavioural innovation, in a way that radiates “mess with me at your peril”.

The intelligence and natural wisdom that this inner stance summons at the point then enhances and empowers one’s inner guide in navigating the way forward.

Because they feed off people’s fears, whenever possible the way to deal with bullying is to first and foremost ignore them completely so as to not be their feeding point. When you know you are dealing with a weak person – even if they act otherwise – and you do not give up this awareness when encountering one, it lets the sub-conscious of the other person know that you know. Those who have not completely lost the way will then be caused to quietly reconsider and step back from you.

Next to the above there are countless ways and means to handle bullying. Nevertheless, they all revolve around the highlighted key, without which no technique will ever prove effective.

Part five:  Cultivating one’s unique strength
Strength is not a singular quality – each one of us is blessed with a unique strength combination. When we are in our element, we can achieve the impossible, time and again. From the realms of inter-personal dealings to the realms of exciting breakthroughs.

Being in one’s element is an art and a skill. For some reason they don’t teach children what they need to know in order for them to be in their element. But it’s never too late to learn. We mostly intuitively know how. Some of us suffer the misfortune of residing or working in ecologies that do not support human development. “You lean upon that which resists you” – the greater the struggle, the greater the eventual reward.

David Gommé
22 October 2014

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